


Random HTF Drabbles

by PumpkinPatch



Category: Happy Tree Friends, htf
Genre: Death, Drabble, Drabbles, Implied Death, Needless Violence, Random & Short, Randomness, Swearing, Violence, Voodoo, homosexual undertones
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2018-02-28
Packaged: 2019-03-25 08:14:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13830111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PumpkinPatch/pseuds/PumpkinPatch
Summary: Back in 2010 I decided to do short 'lol random' things basically bs shit that belongs in a skit or filler scene, at present all of these are stupid to me, but the current episodes of HTF have shown the series went downhill into a cesspool. They're not impossible, but certainly aren't all that great. (Looking at you HTF, make better content if you're still making episodes at all anymore)





	1. Voodoo

"Evil, I saw Toothy today, it was the strangest thing, he had burn marks, looked like he was bruised all over, and half of his ear was missi- what are you doing?" Flippy exclaimed as he saw the male holding a little charred doll over a candle.

Evil jerked and dropped the doll on the floor before blowing the candle out, "Nothing!"

"Really?" His opposite questioned, picking the doll up. "What is this?"

"I don't know, I've never seen it before in my life."

"I just saw you holding it over the candle." Flippy replied.

"No you didn't, I was just uh . . . I was well, I was burning it because it's possessed!" He reached out for the doll and snatched it back.

"I don't believe you, you're a horrible liar." The good bear snapped.

"Am not, and don't you have anything better to do then question my actions?" Evil snapped back at his 'better half', glaring angrily.

"You know what, as a matter of fact, I do, I'm going to go to the store to get some fish to cook for dinner, have fun doing whatever your sick mind wants." He replied, leaving.

Evil glanced at the shut door, scowled, and shrugged with a huff.

The candle relighted, Evil held the doll over the flame and snickered. "Sucker!" Suddenly the fabric caught on fire and touched his paw, making him release it, he watched with wide eyes as it burned into ashes on the tile floor. "Oh shit."

In the distance a scream could be heard. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaahhhh!"


	2. Pinecone Misuse

"Ow, damnit, ow, damnit, ow, damnit!"

Flippy rolled over and yawned. What was that sound?'

Suddenly the sound of a truck swerving echoed throughout the town, running to the window Flippy saw that Handy had swerved to avoid running over a certain young raccoon. "Lifty?"

The bear opened the door and walked outside, at first he was almost positive the coon was dead, but then Lifty's tail twitched and he opened his eyes. The young klepto groaned and sat up, yelping suddenly and then shifting about until he was finally standing up without wincing. "Uh, hey Flippy."

"What the hell are you doing out here nearly getting ran over?"

Lifty shrugged, he stepped forward and winced. "OW damnit!"

"Are you the one who kept doing that?" Flippy glanced at the male curiously. "What's wrong? You're not bleeding and you don't look like you have any broken bones."

Lifty scowled and glared at the male. "I'm not telling you, it's embarrassing and anyway, why do you care?"

Flippy glared right back, "You woke me up with your ows and damnits, now spill, what's wrong?!"

Growling the male snapped. "My brother's a sick bastard and needs to have to endure what I'm enduring right now!"

Flippy sighed and threw his hands up, "You know what, you're obviously not in too much pain, I'm going back inside."

"Fine! Do that, you go inside and live your happy life, I'm the one with a pine cone shoved up my ass!"

The bear tripped over his feet and barely reached out fast enough to keep from hitting his head against the cement. "What the hell did you just say?!" He shouted, shocked and disturbed at the same time.

"I said you aren't the one who has a pine cone shoved up your ass, I am! And Shifty's to blame for it too!"

A long reign of silence was exchanged before Flippy stood up and shouted the longest stream of cusses he could think of.

"Whoa, look, I'm sorry to bother you." Lifty said, muttering "ow damnit" each time he stepped. 

Flippy was torn between helping the poor injured male(how he could help him, he had no way of knowing) and going over to Shifty's house to ask what the hell the guy had been thinking, he chose the latter.


	3. Sleeping Comforts

Cuddles and Flippy were sitting in a chair watching Evil sleep. 

"You know," Cuddles began, "he'd be cute if he wasn't cuddling up against that nail gun like that, is that safe?"

"Uh, we're talking about Evil here, Cuddles, nothing IS safe around him."

Evil mumbled something and pulled the trigger, a nail shot into the wall and punctured the wall.

"Holy crap, it's loaded?!"

Flippy blinked at him as if confused. "Well, yeah, who sleeps with an unloaded weapon?"

The bunny sighed, "You're missing the point, he is sleeping with a loaded weapon, what's keeping him from accidentally shooting you?"

The bear shrugged, "He has bad aim when his eyes are closed."


	4. Swearing Around Children

Flippy stomped into the house, Evil following behind him, the good bear turned and growled at his darker half, who sulked.

"Lord, I'm sorry, okay? I didn't think he'd learn it, let alone say it." Evil apologized.

Flippy glared, his anger simmering and only increasing. "Sorry doesn't fix the fact that the little guy was running around the marketplace shouting 'penis', Evil. Pop has enough trouble making sure the guy stays alive. And now Cub's screaming penis over and over for hours on end and you're to blame!"

Evil held up his paws in surrender, "Okay, look, I'll fix things, I'll go explain to Cub that he can't say that word anymore." Evil headed towards the door, Flippy just eyed him curiously as he left. 

Right before the door shut the good bear faintly heard his dark half say, "I'll teach him to say fuck instead and everything will be fine, no more worries about Cub saying penis."


	5. Spooning, You're Doing it Wrong

"Damnit," Evil muttered, bored and pissed at the same time. "He took my freaking bowie knife away from me while I was asleep last night."

The dark bear leaned back and tried not to groan in aggravation. I really wish he hadn't of taken my bowie knife, I love that darn thing so much. He didn't like not having his knife, worst part was, he had no idea where Flippy had hidden it.

Suddenly he saw something metallic glint from under the couch, he reached underneath the couch and found and old rusty spoon. A . . . spoon? Why is it rusty? How long has this been here anyway? Flippy's so good at cleaning its hard to believe he'd actually miss something like this.

"Hey Evil, I need you to take out the trash, do the dishes, and clean the floors, okay?" Flippy called from the kitchen.

"Who do I look like, Petunia?"

"Come on, E. I thought we agreed to split our chores evenly." Flippy replied. "I am the one who cooks, shops, and does the laundry."

"Fine, I'll do it, eesh!" Evil suddenly realized just how sharp the spoon was. Hmm, not as sharp as my beloved bowie knife, but if I can use a cookie to skin a raccoon I can use a spoon to kill my goody-two-shoes twin 

"Hey Flippy, can I ask you something, my blood brother?" Evil asked, snickering softly to himself as he snuck into the kitchen and crept up behind the green bear, the spoon clutched tightly.

"Flippy, if you were spooned to death, would you tell anyone?" 

"What? No way. That's sick- Holy crap, what are you doing with that spoon?!"

His response was an evil laugh. 

Of course when asked about how he ended up dying the after reviving the next day, Flippy wouldn't say a single word. . . After all, how do you explain getting spooned to death by your evil twin with an actual spoon anyway?


End file.
